So my filthy, sweaty, glassy eyed land lord comes round
today to collect his rent money and starts going loco over the state of the
flat. I try to explain that I haven’t even been staying here the last 2 weeks
cos’ me fellas parents are at their villa in Malta so I’ve been playing “16 and
the parents are away” and living at his. That doesn’t cut it though.
“Clean ya room, no geezers allowed to stay the night, pick
ya knickers up off the floor blah blah fucking blah!”
Ummm, settle down mate, you’re making some decent dosh off
us and you aint my father so STFU. After he get his cash, and his PMS rant off
his chest he starts telling me about some guy who’s got arthritis and has been
ringing him all week like “oi bruv can ya pick me drugs up off some other
geezer and drop em’ round to me” ….Sorry what?
I’m thinking OK, understandable if ya mate gets arthritis then
you help him out with getting some groceries or whatever, but wtf is this shit?
Then his phone rings and it’s the arthritic geezer. He starts
going loco at him to all like
“nah listen bruv, I been ‘elpin’ ya out all week, ya toad of
a missus is just sittin’ there on ‘er ass like”
I’m looking at him like “err you alright mate?” when he
slams the hang up button and goes “cunt wants me to bring ‘im some fucken’ bread
n’ milk now.”
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