I had every intention of starting this when I moved in as I
had a feeling my future in this block would hold stories galore. However, there
have been significant delays in getting an internet connection which has seen
us living in the dark ages for a few months now and only being able to access
facespace off our phones like some sort of cave women!
That shit’s sorted now though so here’s what you’ve missed
so far….
I scored a flat in a decent inner city area of London. Cheap as chips,
or crisps as they are here. It’s a hovel and I’m pretty sure my dogs back home
actually have better living conditions than me at the moment, but again, it’s
in London and it’s cheap – a rarity, and I hold on to those facts every time I
have a breakdown and compare my life to that of someone in a third world
country, living in a tent with dirt floors…mind you, the floors here a fucking
filth.
Here’s a pretty picture for ya: when I got the place there
was a bottle of methadone in the fridge, countless rolls of foil, a few candles
and some bottles full of what looked to be urine. Pretty sure it was an actual
crack house (“in London
and cheap” repeat…) also, my landlord, who’s suss (and sweaty) as they come,
gave me an 82cm tele which is possibly proceeds of the riots last year. It’s
still got the plastic protector sheet across the screen to this day.
We’re on the third (or second depending on how you count)
floor. Also on the level is a prostitute (I’m not saying that in a derogatory
way. She really does turn tricks from her flat. She’s also got some weird
relationship going on with a bird who lives in the block opposite us), some
poor girl who just had a baby but gets beaten up by the baby daddy on the
reggers, and right next door a delightful guy by the name of Danger.
Above us is a guy with the same name as the prozzie (yep,
this gets a little confusing) who sells a variety of things from his flat and
directly on top is who we suspect to be a world champion tap dancer. Whilst
we’ve never seen him or her, there is a constant tap dancing sound into the wee
hours of the morning on most days.
Probably easier to put this all in diagram form (rather, tangled
web) for easy future reference:
So, welcome to our block!
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